


Accidental Exhibitionism

by Debz_Baumaus



Series: Funny and Fluffy Sidlink One-shots [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Crack, Funny, Implied Sexual Content, Inappropriate Behavior, Inappropriate Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Explicit, One-Sided Attraction, Protective Prince Sidon, Sexual Humor, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25695619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Debz_Baumaus/pseuds/Debz_Baumaus
Summary: Sidon listens to the gossip about a Hylian running around in underwear.When Link next visits the Zora Domain, Sidon asks his boyfriend to take care of himself... And accidentally finds out about the story of the two Sheikah who put him in the Shrine of Resurrection.Or two men stripping the Hero and going through gay panic.
Relationships: Link/Prince Sidon
Series: Funny and Fluffy Sidlink One-shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864114
Comments: 3
Kudos: 127





	Accidental Exhibitionism

"Oh, yes! I met him along the way. He was throwing bombs into the river while running around in his underwear."

"Indeed, he went to dispose of the monsters of Hateno Beach in only his undergarments... For some reason. Hmm, he didn't even go swimming."

"Anyway, so I found this blonde boy paragliding next to a dragon in only his underpants! Can you believe that?! ...Oh, it was him? Really?!"

"When helping deliver my beloved's letter to me, he... swam past the monsters in his briefs as if nothing. And the thought of my soulmate colluding with an almost naked man sparked some doubts in my heart."

"My wife says that when he found her, he dropped off the sky in just his underwear. He appeared to be dead for a couple of minutes, and then he got up and told her I was waiting for her. The shock of the reminder of her abscence was too great for her to ask him whether he also needed assistance."

  
"...Link. I am very, how to put this, concerned-. No. /Alarmed/ by the things I have been hearing about you. A young blonde Hylian with the bluest of eyes running around the wild almost /naked/ even when running into danger."

"Pfft!"

"Link!" Sidon offers a glare that Link had not since ever since their first meeting, when he barged into the throne room unannounced.

The hero merely waves his hand dismissively, and the gesture irks Sidon that much more.

"My love, must I beg you to be safe? Must I kneel and implore you to take care of your life, to safeguard the love I most cherish? Please, your love is precious, my pearl."

Link finally starts feeling a slight pang of guilt and pouts. "It's not that... I woke up like that, so I feel comfort when I just go around acting like in that first moment. Acting as if there is nowhere for me to be, no mission pressuring me. Not that I'm not working on it, but it's so much easier to get things done when I pretend I know nothing and just explore like a dumbass."

"...You woke like that? You mean-?"

"Yup, only in my briefs."

Sidon's face furrows, "But last we knew you were wounded in the battlefield. Princess Zelda saved you with her powers and ordered for you to be taken to heal in the Shrine of Resurrection."

Link shifts his weight from side to side, both weary of the topic that was to come and amused at the idea of what Sidon's reaction might be. "Well, you see, the shrine has this like stone bed and it has a shallow pool of water. Maybe that's why they took my clothes off," he offers casually, but Sidon has caught on.

His pupils shrink into thin, menacing slits and his snarl reveals his sharp teeth in a menacing manner, shoulders and biceps going taught. The sight awakens both fear and arousal in Link, but he decides to carry on and spill the truth, even if he wants to giggle from excitement.

"Um, two Sheikah warriors? Don't know who exactly."

"Women?" Asks Sidon in a low gruff voice. Link can tell his manners are slipping fast, the predatory instincts of the Zora kicking in hard.

"...Men."

Sidon's headtail jerks, his hands close into tight fists and the tip of his nose? Whatever it is, twitches slightly. "Tell me what you know."

...

They were slipping under the rain, running with the hero's arms around each of their backs, his body hanging limp between them, boots dragging along the mud. Their vision was blurred out by the droplets that spilled into their eyes. The air was thick with humidity and blood, making it hard to breathe. 

"There! That trail past the Temple of Time! It goes up into a cave!"

The men reach the cave with labored breaths and descend into it. "Once we're out of here, we better help block the entrance a bit, make it seem like nothing important is in here."

"We can pile mud, make a dirt wall. He can climb his way out easy enough."

"Right. Uhh..."

"He's wet. We can always just put him in there as is, doesn't make much of a difference."

"...But could his wounds heal soon enough? He's already been dealing with the pain all this time. And it was a Guardian who shot him. Pierced his internal organs, most likely. A hemorrage we can't seee or treat."

"Okay, help me with it. We can put them in that chest. But better take the tunic back with us. Lady Impa will know what to do."

"The sword?"

"With Princess Zelda."

"Okay."

The men have Link recline against the chest. His breathing is shallow. He is dying. They must be quick for the shrine to work.  
The gloves come off, the boots are tugged and dumped in the chest. The blue tnic is slid off and folded neatly and the leather belt is released from its clasp around the hem of his trousers.  
The white shirt is carefully peeled upwards, and even marred with cuts, bruises, and blood, the men can't help but gasp. 

Link is just as beautiful as Princess Zelda, if not more. Could it be the legendary qualities of their identities that bestowed them with such otherwordly appearances?

And they fumble, hesitate, stare in awe too openly and for too long at the bulge of his biceps and the dips of his sculpted torso. He is merely a young teenager, but his body has been built and trained ever since he was a small boy.

They hold their breaths as his pants are pulled off. The man doing the job closes his eyes as they slide past his hipbones. "Oh, Goddess, have mercy upon us! Spare us for our impurity, we pray, we beg!"  
And, by Hylia! His briefs do not help! They fit snugly along the curves of his body, oh, dear.

For the one holding Link's waist (when did that happen?), his throat also goes tight, then-.

"H-hurry it up already! We're here to save him, not- not, ogle him all over!"

"I-I know!" The man whines as the pooled trousers are finally freed from around Link's slim ankles.

But now it comes to this, to touching those muscular legs to lift him and have his body all too close. And then they acommodate his limbs and head into place. By the time Link sinks into the healing pool bed, the men are gasping and panting with labored breaths, not from the exertion of having run through the stormy battlefield, but from the urging temptation they just confronted.

If the hero did not ever wake, it would be their fault.

They leave in silence and start piling mud from the cave's entrance. As one of them works, he feels the ghost sensation of Link's thighs and calves tickling his palms, instead of the damp dirt he's moving.

Once they finish, they turn their backs to the cave and walk swiftly.

"Not a word of this to anyone."

...

Link is quite literally choking through bouts of laughter, coughing and heaving as his tears stream nonstop from his eyes down his cheeks and neck.

"And, yeah, gosh, I was half dead, but I did remember, eventually. Some of those touches strayed and lingered far too much for it to be considered a normal, medical emergency, life or death disrobing situation. Hahahaha! I wonder where they are. Maybe I didn't recognize them now that they look older."

"Link, you will draw their faces for me and I will... have a word with them."

"Oh, Sidon, it was quite literally one hundred years ago!"

A frown obscures Sidon's eyes menacingly and one of his hands wraps around Link's waist in a harsh and possessive grip. The prince leans down towards ome of the Hylian's pointed ear and whispers with damp breath, hotly, darkly, "Mine".

Link plans to have his fun with this anecdote later on, because the results it gets for him after this first retelling are mindblowing.

Yes, he'll keep that story for future use.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea saved for more than a year and the gears of my brain have finally freed me from a 1-fandom-track mind.
> 
> I have more crack for Sidlink waiting.
> 
> Follow me @ContrastMinds on Twitter and Tumblr if you want to talk about more cute and sexy Sidlink funnies.


End file.
